February 14, 1994, Valentine ’s Day, a happy day for lovers. But not with my dad because mom died on that date at around 7:00 P.M. She was about a month comatose due to a blood clot in her head. It’s not guaranteed that she will be fine if operated. So we decided not to. Two weeks in the hospital and two weeks at home. During her burial, I had never seen even a single tear from my dad’s eyes but I can feel how hard it was for him. In the entire 16 years of being with them, even once I never see or hear them argue or exchange loud voice.

We are five and I am the eldest. Have two younger brothers and two younger sisters. I was first year college when mom rests with the Lord. Took up Bachelor of Science in Commerce – Computer Science at the University of San Jose – Recoletos, Main Campus, Cebu City. The next sibling was second year high school at Consolatrix Academy, Toledo City, Cebu. The third and fourth were boys both graders at South City Central School in Toledo. The fifth was a cute six years old girl.

After the burial, our lives were back to normal. Dad in his business and the students were back to school. Cebu City from our hometown will take about 2 hours land trip by bus. So I need to stay still in my boarding house at Urgello, Cebu City. One school year passed normally as what I thought. I supposed dad had moved on, but no! He was very unhappy without my mom. He is always sorrowful and sad. Exactly when I was able to complete all the requirements asked for the whole school year, dad got sick! The first finding was a complicated gastritis. But in the next test, the doctor says “hepatoma”. Then he said there will be another last test the liver biopsy. I was already wondering why there are a lot of tests done. Why not just cure the gastritis or the hepatoma?

While waiting for the schedule of his last test. I stayed with him at the hospital. Days were gloomy for me. I feel hopeless and helpless when his behavior turns different from the usual. When a relative pays visit I really cried. Just wanted to release what I felt. Then she told me not to cry in front of him. He might be sad and the negative feeling will only contribute to his pain. I have no choice but to be strong. I see his doctor and asked the purpose of the liver biopsy and what is hepatoma? He told me softly that hepatoma is liver cancer. Teary eyed, I ask the purpose of biopsy if it is already a cancer? I will only add pain. He tried to console me by telling that if dad can survive six months from now then he will be fine.

Tears ran down my face like no end. I went out and sit on a bench outside his room. A lot of questions came to my mind. Six months? It’s quite a long agony. What if he will not survive? Where do we go? What will I do? How can we live without our parents? What shall we eat? Can I get a job at my very young age? I was very helpless. But I need to be strong. For my four younger brothers and sisters.

Taxi’s waiting outside Vicente Sotto Memorial Medical Center. While guiding my dad’s wheel chair to the parking lot, a relative came with a priest. As far as I can remember, he was the chaplain of the University of Cebu, Main Campus. I just can’t remember his name. He talks to dad for a while before getting in the car. The priest then blessed him after a short coversation. That was what the scene after two weeks stay for his admittance, lab tests and medication.

Dad’s relatives had a meeting on where will every one of us stay. And finally they decided and brought us all to dad’s hometown at Liberty, Hilongos, Leyte. He was then admitted there for proper care and medication. When I look at him, I prayed to God to just take him than suffering the pain. Looking at my siblings, a different prayer comes out. That he will give another life for our dad because we still need him. In that scenario no one really knows what God have planned for us.

After two weeks, he rests with my mom. That was May 8, 1995. Half prepared to what will happen, no more tears, no words but silence letting go. Yet it can not be denied that the pain is still in our hearts. It’s but normal to everyone.

We cannot really tell when or how will life stops. Physically they’re gone but the teachings they inculcated in our hearts and minds will stay forever. And I’m pretty sure not only to us but also to his friends who have told us about his kindness and compassion. Thoughts of them will stay in our hearts as long as we live. We tried to be happy to the fact that mom and dad are together again in our God’s loving arms.

Maria Belle